911: Grief a Year Later

With the anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks upon us, our thoughts turn to those events. Each one of us can give an account of where we were when we heard of what happened and our reactions. Some of us lost loved ones or knew of someone who lost a loved one.

Our country has been in mourning. We grieve for those who died and we grieve for the loss of our sense of security. Songs have come out, poems written, stories and books published. All of these are methods of expressing our grief.

There is a natural cycle to grief that occurs in a situation such as this as well as in personal loss. The highest point of pain in a loss is usually about 90 days after the loss. The shock has worn off and we must face our raw feelings. (Those who have not been able to bring closure for whatever reason, for example, not having a body to bury, have a more difficult time moving through the grief.)

Generally the level of pain in our grief decreases over the course of the next 7-8 months. Just before the anniversary of the loss, in this case 9/11, our grief escalates to a level near that of our rawest of emotions. That is what is happening now. This is normal. At about 18 months the level of grief is often what might be called a dull ache.

Our grief, in this situation, is complicated by the continual discussion of the government and media about war and terrorism.

In my opinion, it is as if these entities wish us to be in a continual state of fear. Whatever your political persuasion know that remaining in a state of fear is not good for you or your body. The anxiety keeps your body in a state of hyper-vigilance which lowers your immune system. That means you will have a greater tendency to become ill. You will also find that you are more prone to anger and depression.

Fear is about the future. Yes, something terrible happened in the past. Nothing has happened in the future. The future is filled with possibility. Fearing what might happen will not help any of us cope with what will happen. In fact, fear of the future eliminates the joys of what we experience today and may cause of to miss the joys of tomorrow.

You and I have a choice as to how we will live our lives. Our choice of thoughts and feelings will determine how we cope with what is going on in the world. Make a choice to live in inner peace. That will contribute to the manifestation of “outer peace.”

by Cathy Chapman, PhD - September 9, 2002

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